it seems as if the Lord has been placing a strong sense of dissatisfaction in my heart for the last couple of days. mm.. that's a lie. it's been weeks. actually.. i just thought about it harder. i've been dissatisfied about one thing or another for the whole semester. but there was a balance between satisfaction and dissatisfaction. a good balance. but i guess right now my satisfaction is being overtaken by my dissatisfaction. good or bad.. both i suppose? the reasons why i'm dissatisfied are very burdensome. but what's life without burdens right? i think it'd be a problem if wasn't troubled about anything.
a couple years ago i started keeping this notebook where i would write down all the things God was teaching me. but of course.. i have not been keeping up with it that very well. but that's not to say i haven't been writing stuff down. i usually write things down on slips of paper during sermons, sharing times, devo times, or whatever. at retreats, church, acf, or wherever. then i stick these slips of paper in my bible, on my desk, or on my nightstand somewhere. it's a very disorganized system actually. so i decided to take all these slips of paper.. scrawled with all this wonderful knowledge, truth, and thoughts.. and write them all down in the notebook i had started. so i did that. just today. looking at so many of the things that i've learned over the past year or so.. God has been so good. He's challenged me so much and given me a lot of insight into His character. but i recognize that there is still SO MUCH MORE that He has to show me. so much more to experience and learn.
i hate being told to do things twice. i don't normally like hearing the same things over and over again. i think it's the pride in me. and the stubborness that makes me think, "i already know that, you don't have to tell me again". but it's awesome when God says "you need to hear this again. this is from my heart to yours. think about it." and it's even more awesome when He puts a new and fresh spin on it too.
my notebook isn't even half-filled yet. i can't wait to write more in it. and i can't wait for it to be filled with so much that there's no more room to write and i'll just have to get another book. but i don't want these thoughts and teachings and truths to be seen JUST in my notebook. they need to be seen in my life in order for the purpose of the notebook to even matter! booyaH! gotta make it happen.
to all those going to urbana, passion, onething.. have a God-awesome time! expect and believe and pray that He's gonna BLOW YOU AWAY!! mmm.. no doubt. woot woot!
posted by theresa :) @ 8:51 p.m.
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