i'm supposed to be packing to go to london right now. instead i decided to blog. this is the side of me that my family hates. i guess i kinda hate it about myself too -- doing things when it is the LEAST OPTIMAL time to do it. therefore making me late or seem irresponsible. my brother also hates it that i can't plan things in advance. because he is such a planner in advancer. i dunno how he does it! sometimes you gotta just go with the flow.... i didn't used to be like this. i used to be a planner in advancer too. but somewhere along the way.. i stopped being the organized, always on top of things neat-freak i used to be. i think it happened in university.

i have not planned anything for this weekend. there are lots of ppl i want to see but i haven't made any appointments with them. why? gonna go with the flow :P

i'm reading this book that yp gave me called deep unto deep the journey of his embrace by dana candler. it's an IHOP book about intimacy with God. i'm finding it a bit hard to get into. because... the language that she uses is just so flowery. honestly.. when i was reading it yesterday i half expected the words to just start swirling and forming flowers. hahahha.. something you'd see in across the universe or something. it's just so fluffy. my friend jenn wouldn't be able to stand it.. she hates fluffiness. makes her wanna puke. haha. i'm kinda like that too but less so. i can handle mushy stuff to a certain extent. but i am still enjoying the book because she brings up a lot of truths.

in the chapter called awakened to love she says we need him to awaken us over and over again. when he does this, our supposed contented hearts are revealed for their true barrenness and escorted to place of divine dissatisfaction. see what i mean by flowery language? haha. i really like this line tho. i think it really hits home for me. i always trick myself into thinking i'm content - that things are good. but when i look deep inside.. i can see holes. voids in my heart that still need to be filled. areas of my life that still need so much work. and i enter back into this divine dissatisfaction.

if you look at my blog you might notice that i only blog about happy things. i'm generally a happy person. i hate showing ppl my unhappy side. it's funny.. i was talking to my co-worker the other day and he said to me "there's no darkness in you". because i'm always so happy and optimistic at work and when i'm around work ppl. i'm really glad he said that.. but i told him for sure there is darkness in me. i don't want ppl to think i'm this robot programmed only to be happy.

but back to divine dissatisfaction.. i think i'm being awakened again. PTL for awakenings!

oh yes and i almost forgot.. look what word i got while playing upwords with ada on monday!! :O

well.. i had to borrow an e from her. but i COULDN'T BELIEVE i got the letters to make that word!! ada added the ew btw haha.. if you don't know what the word means you can look it up. it's the nurse in me that gets excited about stuff like this :P

and now.. LONDON BABYY!!

day 15 of the strike. i'm still enjoying it. is that wrong? ignorance is bliss? blah blah blah...

i went to get an oil change at walmart today. went all the way to vaughan. i guess i didn't mind the drive since i had the time. i usually try to take something out of any experience i have. let's see what i can get from today..

so i get to the customer service counter at walmart's automotive dept. there's one guy taking care of a customer. one other man behind that customer.. then me. the line behind me quickly grew. this lady walks in and starts trying to take care of the rest of us... but ALL AT ONE TIME. hahaha oh man it was amazing. she just kept yelling things at us.. asking us what we wanted and trying to juggle everyone's requests at once. and she sends the other guy to go find out stuff for the customers. at first i thought man she's pretty awesome.. she's able to take care of so many customers at one time! so efficient. but then i quickly realized that by doing that.. she was neglecting to fulfill all of our requests because she was doing too much at one time. she eventually left to check something herself and the other guy comes back in complaining about her saying "she's too hyper". i chuckled to myself. so the guy proceeds to take care of the customers ONE AT A TIME. by doing this.. he was getting the job done. but seemingly slower than the hyper lady. after awhile.. the lady comes back in and sends the other guys out to start on jobs.. whilst still trying to juggle many customers at once. the customer in front of me was getting pretty impatient with her telling her that she was doing too much at once. she denied him and kept doing her job hahah. love iiiit. eventually she was able to help us all and put in all our requests ONE BY ONE. however it took a long time.

funny aside: when she was typing in a customer's address into the computer she thought he said BATMAN street when he actually said BACHMAN street. HAHHAHAHA imagine if there was actually a BATMAN street?! LOL and a half!

so what's the conclusion here? is it better to do many things at once or one thing at a time? what's better and more efficient? well seemingly the hyper lady's method of juggling many customers at once was inefficient. but she eventually did get the job done. the other guy's method of handling one customer at a time seemed to go very slow. but i guess it depends on the customer's requests too. i really did appreciate the hyper lady's intentions. she realized that we were all waiting for a long time.. and she just wanted to get us all out of there as fast as possible. but ppl were getting annoyed with her because she was loud and a bit rude.

i think of how i do things. at first i try to juggle lots of things at once. but then i evenutally realize that i gotta tackle things one at a time to get the job done. God may be pleased with our intentions.. but we gotta be open to hearing His voice about how to handle things. and He's gonna tell each person a different way to do something. that's why He made us all different. and that's how the Body should work.

so a few things i want to leave you with from this story:

1) always try to look at things from the other person's perspective.
2) it's good to re-evaluate what works and what doesn't.
3) as the Christmas season is approaching and all the hustle bustle of line-ups at stores is beginning.. don't forget to be polite and smile. also.. being patient helps everyone out.


it was a nice day today. i tried a few times to go out to walmart/vaughan with other ppl. but that didn't work out. so it was cool to go by myself. it's good to be alone sometimes :)

i work so hard to
keep in control when
all that i want is to let go.

-- starfield

the weekend was just too awesome to not document! such a wonderful time celebrating jon and cheryl's wedding :D

rehearsal @ MCBC

yay yp's back! rehearsal dinner @ yang's

lunch with chia & sonj @ THE korean tofu place :D

laptop party! random studying & wedding works

love!

the couple + GMs!

jon & cheryl duke it out - wii boxing style!

health sci - REUNITE :D

dropping sonj off @ airport

back @ THE korean tofu place. yes it's THAT good.

PTL for good times and good friends :)

so i was walking home from work tonight and i saw this korean girl starting to wave at me. i thought it was my friend julia since she lives in the area. so i yell out "OMYGOSH!" .......take a few steps closer and the girl has this scared expression on her face and she brings her hands to her mouth.

turns out it wasn't julia.

she was waving at a guy that was behind me.

LOOLLL :P

i told her i thought she was someone else as i walked past her.. and she just has this perplexed look on her face.

i walked away laughing at myself. hahhaha.. this isn't the first time this has happened to me!! and i don't normally yell at strangers on the street. i promise.

strike is on!!!

i totally take back what i said about the strike. i wanted it to happen SO BADLY. and ..it did! woot! PTL :) i know i know.. it's still a pretty horrible situation. but when life hands you lemons.... make lemonade? or something. haha.

yessss temporary breatherrrr.

been working on some papers the past couple days. i'm learning more about how i handle schoolwork. and that i actually enjoy writing. sometimes. i guess it's easier when you're writing about something you like.

first paper's topic: nursing theory - worth 5%. spent soooooo much time on it. happy with the product.
second paper's topic: communication in nursing - worth 25%. spent not as much time on it. product is a piece of poo.

conclusion? altho something is worth more.. i will not care enough to write better if i don't care about what i'm writing about. i guess time was also a factor. but meh.. and it's not that i don't care about communication. it's just that theory is so much more interesting.

i always knew i enjoyed learning about theory a lot more than say math or chemistry. but i'm reeeally loving this nursing theory stuff. so much that i actually read through all 4 articles i used for my paper.. just because they were interesting!

nursing theory rocks!

Equanimity is the quality of being calm and even-tempered. It refers to an evenness of mind characterized by calm temper or firmness of mind: patience, composure, and a steadiness of the mind under stress. Cultivating equanimity during times of relative calm will help strengthen its application during times of increased stress and tension (Pipe, 2008).

i love this word.

i've been thinking about being more mindful about the things that i say. and then i read this.

18"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. 19"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. 20"These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man." Matthew 15:18-20 NASB

sometimes it's hard to discern what is ok to say in a certain situation.

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45 NIV

it's so true.. whatever comes out of your mouth is a reflection of what is filling your heart at the moment.


another thing.

22And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed." 23But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, "Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us." 24But He answered and said, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." 25But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, "Lord, help me!" 26And He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." 27But she said, "Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." 28Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once. Matthew 15:22-28 NASB

in my last post i was talking about wanting to see God in bigger ways. then i read this passage today.. and was really humbled. i read in my study bible that what Jesus meant by "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." is that the gospel was to be first given first to jews. the woman understood Jesus' implication and was willing to settle for "crumbs." Jesus rewarded her faith.

so application to my life:

gospel = seeing God in bigger ways
crumbs = seeing God in the little things

am i willing to settle for "crumbs" like this woman was? who am i to even be judging what are crumbs and what are the big things? when God works.. i'm always amazed. i'm blessed to even be experiencing Him at all! so now it's a matter of whether or not i'll be as persistent as the woman. the Word says that the disciples got so annoyed at her because she was shouting so much at them. i must be willing to pray and seek earnestly for even the crumbs. crumbs from God are better than anything else from anyone!

shout for crumbs!!