maaan too many things happening in toronto in the next month!

apr 11-12: 24 hour prayer
apr 12: TC volunteers appreciation night
apr 15: drive mom and dad to airport
apr 27: jason mraz concert (*excitement*!!)
may 4: acf reunion

how can i do all these things? answer - i can't. the only solution?
...........move to toronto!? it's an idea that's been presented by so many friends over the years. at this moment.. a pretty unrealistic option. sighs.. and with summer approaching and everyone leaving, london may not be the most exciting place to be.

i once said that i would never move to toronto. actually i said it a lot of times haha. i just can't ever picture myself there. but if nursing takes me there..... why not?

on a totally unrelated topic.. i miss p&r! here's a pic from roger's bday.



















yaay the return of p&r this sunday!

God never asks us to do anything we can do.

..something i read in sit, walk, stand. made me think of something i've often heard in sermons or among christians talking which is..

God never asks us to do anything we can't do.

contradicting statements? at first i thought so. but after a little bit more thought.. not so much!

the first one from sit, walk, stand is explained by nee:

He asks us to live a life which we can never live and to do a work which we can never do. Yet, by his grace, we are living it and doing it. The life we live is the life of Christ lived in the power of God, and the work we do is the work of Christ carried on through us by his Spirit whom we obey. Self is the only obstruction to that life and to that work.

the second is just saying God won't ask us to do something we can't do because he will provide us the grace to do it. which is the same as what nee is saying!

ooh semantics. crazy what words and a little 't can do to our understanding!

i'm so tired. but i don't want to sleep.

hmm.. almost 2 months since my last post. it's not that life has been boring. quite the opposite actually. and it's not like i don't want to post. i guess i just don't really think to post anymore.

hmm.. blogging seems so foreign right now. i'm trying to remember what used to go through my mind when i wrote blogs. how much to disclose.....

only 2 months since the new year started and it feels like it's been a lot longer than that. this semester compared with last semester have been quite opposite in a few ways. the things i'm choosing to concern myself with are different this year. i can honestly say that the things i am caring about right now are a lot more worthwhile than the things i cared about last semester. things have changed for the better. but at the same time.. i still question whether or not i'm focusing my time on what God wants me to focus on.

hmm i think may know the answer to that question.

sorry i'm being so vague. i've always had a hard time being specific when i blog :P

i've been reading sit, walk, stand by watchman nee. and i've been realizing how HARD it is to sit. to rest in God. i tried doing it for a couple hours yesterday.. and it was SO HARD. my mind races and wanders. my physical body can't even be still. i'm so tired and i just want to know what it means to rest in God.

mmm.. well i'll end with an excerpt from the walk chapter.

Nothing is so hurtful to the life of a Christian as acting; nothing so blessed as when our outward efforts cease and our attitudes become natural -- when our words, our prayers, our very life, all become a spontaneous and unforced expression of the life within. Have we discovered how good the Lord is? Then in us he is as good as that! Is his power great? Then in us it is no less great!

it's not about forcing it. it's about overflow. but it begins with resting. i need to learn how to rest.

-- edit --
i also just realized that the first line of this blog reflects my unwillingness to rest my physical body. if i can't rest my body.. how can i expect to rest my spirit? gaahh i need to rest both!